author of Feeding Eden

and On and On

I've used this site as a wide wide playing field to write about food allergies, parenting and food allergy related food. Today is different. Three things happened today:

One - Lately my posts have been increasingly sparse. Not because I feel "been there done that" and so over food allergies. Rather, after nine years of living with food allergies that haven't really gotten any better (although the living part has) I decided today that I need to stray away in order to fight off my Food Allergy Fatigue.

Two - This morning in the shower, I had some thoughts some unfinished thoughts on a writing project so I talked in my head to a particular friend about it. His name was Gary. He is dead and I talk to him fairly often. He was killed from gun shots thirteen years ago. He wasn't my only truly Great Friend and he wasn't my only "almost the one" boyfriend, but at different times, he was one of those. I loved him. Because he is dead he is a really good listener. He can't look me in the eye and say, "So why, exactly, are you telling me this?"  I never talk about Gary aloud with my family because my daughter just one year old when he died and now that my children are old enough to ask questions and understand answers I don't want them to understand the details of his death, which are extremely complicated and awful. (At some point they may read this but since it's not directly about them, probably not for awhile if ever.)

Three - Shortly after that shower, as I sat down to procrastinate about writing a post about one of several allergy-ish topics, I opened an email that my husband sent. It had a link to a column that our Great Friend Rob had written about Death of loved ones, and a Great Friend of theirs who also died too young. Rob didn't have to write it. But he did and I understand why. And after reading his piece once but not twice because if I read it twice I would decompose all over again, I decided that I needed to share it and not do much more than that:

Except to add this: In John Green's crushingly good Y/A novel The Fault In Our Stars, he reminds us, "That's the thing about demands to be felt." I'm putting this here - not in demand - but to thank Rob and other the writers who give their words up to us so we don't have to find them for ourselves:



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