What I Do Now:
Wanting Wine Wanting
I should write a post here about Chef Ming Tsai and his groundbreaking support as a chef and father of an allergic child. That is what one would expect of a proper blog with an allergy shtick, yes? And he is fabulous to have helped to establish state legislation for restaurants and I pray that New York and all the states will soon follow. But. I had an unrelated (or is it?) epiphany this morning after thinking about Chef Ming Tsai.
Well, the thought stream went like this: Chef Ming Tsai - to - Food - to - Grocery Shopping - to - Make List - to - Wine - to - Wine - to - Wine - to - Wine ... Couldn't formulate another thought. The word "wine" had become encapsulated in an expanding bubble in my head, squeezing out all thoughts, asking to be looked at, noted, maybe hugged.
Now wait, I don't even love wine. I'm more of a bourbon girl. But before the Wine Blockage, I had picked up a pencil rationally anticipating a cold winter weekend while recalling my husband's lack of a home cooked meal this past week.
I think (hope?) other people have moments when one word becomes an involuntary mantra for a loaded two minutes of wasted time until they break out with a self flogging cliche that parenting has made them "stupid" or "brain dead" or "too tired to think straight."
Right. Back to the epiphany: Parenting might not make us dumb. I think that being a mother of young children and of a child with Health Issues makes me forget that it is okay to want stuff. Even stuff I don't really want all that often or with a passion, like wine. I think that when my mind lingers on one word or idea it just doesn't want to be pushed onto the next thing, the next I must do.
A few years ago, when Eden was in bad health - underweight and hypersensitive, I never wanted anything very hard or very long. I was too worried about him and his sister to want. Today, in the words of Ernest Hemingway "The wine was good." And I hadn't even tasted it.
And that is what I wanted to write about.