author of Feeding Eden

Homeopath-etic

Some parents won’t even consider alternative medicine for their children. In fact, I have a friend - wife of a cardiologist - who is freaking out right now. I know another mother who bounces her son into neighborhood acupuncturist the moment his scalp gets itchy. As for me, I'm open. My liberal ‘70’s yogurt and wheat germ upbringing taught me that once I flew the free-range nest I could face the challenges of adulthood better when brewing up a cup of loose-leaf "Tranquili-Tea." 

When Eden was diagnosed with his long list of food allergies, I wanted to bolster his health and find other options to daily antihistamines. After trying a few types of alternative  therapies, I found an OSTEOPATH who (stick with me here) practices HOMEOPATHY and whose son also suffered from food allergies. I have never looked back. Of course I still rely on my "real doctors" but I find that our beloved Dr. M can help the children with their flu's and colds far better than our "fluids, rest and Advil" pediatrician. Plus he helps my husband and me when we catch all those nasty bugs from the kids.

For me, the big downside to this kind of medicine is not the lack insurance coverage or the seeming leap of faith. It is the stream of seemingly bizarre and unrelated questions homeopaths when diagnosing a patients' MODALITIES.

Homeopaths believe they must understand the modalities can recommend a REMEDY. So before anyone gets psyched up to get their a homeopath of their very own, here's a sample of an interchange I endured while weakly holding the phone, bedridden last week. 

Things My Homeopath Might Say When Treating A Burning Fever:

  1. You feel worse than two hours ago? Excellent.
  2. Slap the bottle twice against your forearm before drinking.
  3. You’re certain your lower eyelids weren't quivering?
  4. Well, if your left temple were sweating more than your right one that would help…
  5. Tylenol? For what?
  6. It just needs to touch a membrane.
  7. What exactly do you mean by legs?
  8. Say it really did explode - would the pain vibrate inward or outward?